dichotomous_rex

IMPORTANT NOTICE!

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Sat, 24 Jul 2004 21:39:17 GMT

Guys, I've decided to switch blogs. I know this kind of sucks, but I reeeally like the setup of blogspot better than this one. No mood icons or anything :( but it's just nicer. So, you can find me at the following address:

http://twospleenqueen.blogspot.com

Come and visit!

Hmm, haven't seen much of the country, either

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Sat, 24 Jul 2004 14:17:56 GMT

create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

This is totally fun... though I really haven't travelled the world much, eh??

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Sat, 24 Jul 2004 14:13:02 GMT

create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Thu, 22 Jul 2004 02:11:52 GMT

Just spent an evening pondering and thinking and feeling, all by myself. It was exactly what I needed. Not that anything is clearer now, but I rediscovered my center. Felt good to drive around with the windows wide open, Van Morrison crooning on the stereo. And the best thing of all: when I came home Luke and I walked to the laundromat to pick up his clothes, and on the way back we stopped to chat with our old Greek neighbor to compliment him on his lighted trellis. His son came out to chat and asked earnestly, "Do you like plants?" to which I replied, "Oh, definitely, I want to have more in the apartment..." and he scurried off and came back with two little fledgling plants (Cliveas?). He told me, "My gift to you."

Made me so darn happy, put me right back in my place.

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Wed, 21 Jul 2004 17:13:42 GMT

Feelin' kind of low. My 20 year old co-worker leads a life I will never lead. Mostly this is due to my choice, but financial differences play a role as well. It's just tough to see a BC student punk stroll in with her Prada purse and Chanel sunglasses, and watch as her boyfriend drops off balloons and a dozen pink roses for her birthday - and that's before she even gets her gift tonight. Now don't get me wrong - this is exactly the kind of life I would NEVER want to live - it's just shitty to be around someone with so much money. Especially when I'm checking craigslist 24:7 to see if I can find a bureau under $50 so my clothes aren't strewn about my apartment in disarray. Ahoo.

Take the 'What's Your Kitchen Personality' Test!

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Tue, 20 Jul 2004 23:30:28 GMT

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/lf_kitchen_design

I got 'eclectic', of course. What else would you expect from The Bisexual?

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:45:59 GMT

Yeah, so I'm updating at work. WTF, I hate this place anyway. I'm just dreaming about being in a better place, after the GRE, after school. I want a cool funky old house in Vermont to work on, where I can plant flowers/trees/veggies/herbs and make fancy dinners and drink red wine.

I'm getting bored of not being able to bike, actually learn to play hockey, and do yoga. I'm ready for my hand to be healed, thanks very much. I'm out of my brace by now, but it's still kind of sore. I can't do much with it, though I am re-learning to type with all fingers. Man on man, this is such a pain in the ass. I wish I liked to run, because at least I could do that. Alas, that won't happen... I've just been doing lots of walking. Hmmm, maybe the recumbent bikes at the gym are worth a shot... though it's tough to get to the gym after ten hour days.

Hey, did anyone see that M. Night Shyamalan "documentary" on Sci-Fi last night? It was a total piece of crap. It certainly seemed very staged, but since it was done by a reputable couple of documentarians, it was slightly hard to tell. But I did read in the paper today that it was a hoax, and they did get Shyamalan's permission to do the whole thing... see, it came off as very controversial. The two documentarians kept pointing out all these weird things surrounding Night's life, and how he kept getting pissed off at them for hounding him with questions. Turns out it's all bullshit. That's so lame! I'm really disappointed with Sci-Fi for allowing this to happen.

Some serious bitching is about to ensue...

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 02:27:15 GMT

What the hell am I going to do with my life? Honestly... I don't really know. I used to be so ambitious and goal-driven. What happened? On one level I know I _can_ do most things; my problem is what exactly do I want to be doing with myself? Am I trying to look too carefully at finding the perfect career? it just seems so hard to even get excited about any of the possibilities anymore, and that's pretty darn sad.

Are we supposed to throw in the towel and just do something that pays the bills? I feel so envious of people who know what they want, go after it, and get it. I feel like I have the ability to do steps 2 and 3 if I could only figure out step 1. It's like all this useless, unharnessed energy is floating around inside of me.

And the most fucked up thing of all? I'm not even depressed! I feel like life is a wonderful gift, and we should choose our path deliberately. I'm not opposed to the idea of taking a few off-the-beaten-track kinds of turns here and there, so long as the main path remains at a fuzzy distance. Man, this inner battle of life-is-beautiful-but-what-the-fuck-do-I-do-with-it is killing me. Ahoo.

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Tue, 13 Jul 2004 00:51:22 GMT

Wow, I suck at posting anything. What the hell have i been doing? Camping, hangin' out in VT, working, watching movies, going for walks. Yup, that about sums it up.

So I bought my GRE study guide, and I suppose I should actually bust it out after just eyeing it suspiciously from across the room. That's tonight's plan, we'll see how it goes. I just barely decided to work four 10 hour days, though, in hopes to get some life-furthering time under my belt. Though it's going to suck big time being at work for ten hours straight, ugh.

You know what I'd rather be doing? Letterboxing! It's my new favorite pasttime, even though I haven't actually begun yet. For all the info you'll need, check out their website:

http://letterboxing.org/

S-E-X question

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Fri, 02 Jul 2004 00:05:38 GMT

So I just read this little tidbit on nerve (Sidenote: if you don't read this website regularly, you're totally missing out) about the lack of caring for female sexual dysfunction. Before I forget, here's the link (I'm not fancy enough to incorporate it into my text yet):

http://www.nerve.com/regulars/rawnerve/007/

I think it's a good article, and the author makes a totally valid point - that big drug companies are much more interested in marketing performance enhancing drugs to men, because men have more "physical" or tangible problems with getting it on.

But it stirred up something in me that I've been pondering the past few weeks, and I'm not sure how I feel exactly. My question is this: is it okay to have a low sex drive, especially as you get older? Maybe the problem isn't how to get more interested in sex, but that as a culture we're so oversexed (it's _everywhere_) that no one thinks they're ever getting enough. Maybe many people are interested in - and having - just the right amount of sex. It's just that the "right amount" seems to have skyrocketed recently.

I hope this doesn't come off as being conservative, or that I don't believe people, and women in particular, should be psyched about getting dirty now and again. I guess I just feel a little apprehensive about the stage that follows the "It's okay to show how open and interested in sexuality" phase. I don't want to feel lame or guilty that I'm not having enough sex, and I don't want others to feel that way either.

Again, I'm not pointing out any faults in this article - and I think it's important to make the distinction between a moderate to low sex drive and real sexual dysfunction - but I just wanted to express something that I've been thinking about. And this article just triggered those thoughts to spill forth.

Thoughts? Concerns? I'm very cuhhhhrious.

SHAMELESSLY stolen from MB's blog:

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Tue, 29 Jun 2004 00:06:40 GMT

Act your age? Nope, I usually act older.
Born on what day of the week? WTF? Who knows, really.
Chore you hate? Washing dishes. Me too!
Chore you love? Cleaning the bathroom. Me too!
Dad’s name? Kevin G.
Essential makeup item? If by 'makeup' you mean 'food', then artichokes, hands down.
Favorite actor? Hmmmm. Bobby DeNiro, Mark Ruffalo, Robin Williams, Dennis Hopper, Robert Duvall, Kevin Kline. To name a few.
Gold or silver? Silver, most definitely.
Hometown? Burlington VT baby.
Instruments you play? I really really wish I played electric guitar, but all I've ever really mastered is the recorder.
Job title? Thankless piece of crap job as a Medical Receptionist.
Kids? Nope, though that'll change someday.
Living arrangements? Domestic partnership.
Mom’s name? Colleen.
Need? A freakin' clue about what to do with my life. Amen to that, sister!
Overnight hospital stays? Yep, 1995 when I had my spleens removed.
Phobias? Social situations, not so good at 'em.
Quote you like? I got two short ones off the top of my head: 1) 'Imagination is more important than knowledge' - Einstein ... and 2) 'Arrange whatever pieces come your way' - Virginia Woolf
Religious affiliation? No organized religion, but kinda agnostic/spiritual.
Siblings? Ryan, 23 yrs old. And we look a lot alike.
Time you wake up? Comfortably aka on my own around 9ish. For work, 7:30.
Unique talent? Eating 24/7.
Vegetable you refuse to eat? Not really so fond of brussel sprouts.
Worst habit? Biting my cuticles.
X-rays you’ve had? Yeah, this is kind of a bad question to ask me right now. See the bitching on the rest of my blog for this answer.
Yummy food you make? Summer corn chowder, a la Martha. Yum. And guacamole.
Zodiac Sign? Three cheers for Aquarians!

Greenbacks, baby

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Sun, 27 Jun 2004 14:20:38 GMT

Wow, it's been a while since I've written...

It's a beautiful Sunday morning, and I'm totally enjoying drinking my mango tea and browsing the internet. My newest fixation is to learn how to save - and make more - money. I feel like this is not outside the realm of possibility, yet somehow it seems so difficult. Why?? I'm so tired of being stressed out because I don't have enough money, and I'm sick of allowing myself to feel that way. It's total crap! I think my next (small!) purchase should be a book on how to budget and cut corners. There's an article in the Globe today on young homeowners, and reading it just made me feel so completely behind the 8 ball. (Side note: just where does that expression come from?) These people are 26, 28 yrs old and have bought their first house. They're gardening, painting their walls, and making money on the investment! They realize it's a starter house, and plan to sell their home for more money and move to a better place.

I'm not exactly saying that I should be buying a house per se, but I really want to learn how to take control and use the system to the best of my capability. I have no idea how grad school will fit into all of this - maybe it doesn't. Honestly, I'd really just rather open up my own health facility and get to be my own boss and create my own philosophies. Ahhh, that seems so far away....

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Thu, 17 Jun 2004 15:59:17 GMT

So... more details to post re: the most asinine event of late: yup, my hand is broken. I managed to fracture my 5th metacarpal in my LEFT hand playing goddamn softball. I made a weird catch at first base and kind of caught the ball on the side of my hand instead of my glove. I finished the inning, don't worry. :)

The biggest bummer of all is now I can't do the 150 mile bike ride next weekend for MS... and now can't play summer ice hockey for a while. Oh yeah, and can't do yoga. And can't WRITE because I'm a freaking southpaw. Yeah, I'm not bitter or anything...

Do you have any idea how long it took me to type this?

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Wed, 16 Jun 2004 11:09:02 GMT

I think I busticated my f-ing hand. And the left (aka dominant) one to boot. It's a damn good thing I work in an orthopedic office, I tell you. Free access to an x-ray machine has actually come in handy a few times.

Please please please say it's not broken!

Sad sad

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Thu, 10 Jun 2004 20:48:13 GMT

Ray Charles died today. Man, he was fantastic. Every time I think of Ray Charles I totally think of that Cosby show episode where the entire family sings one of his songs. Rudy comes down the stairwell wearing a boa and singing "Baby!" It's just the greatest.

Really F-ing Cranky -- Watch out

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Tue, 08 Jun 2004 21:50:50 GMT

Wow, am I livid right now. It's the end of a very long day of both patients and doctors expecting me to defy all matters of logic and make them happy. Well, you know what? I don't WANT to make anyone fucking happy. Why can't people just take goddamn responsibility for themselves?

And my lower back hurts. Maybe it's a sacrotuberal ligament pull, maybe I'm just a hypochondriac. Whatever the case, it is making it troublesome for me to walk. Maybe it's the stupid shoes I was wearing earlier, but I've had this pain for quite some time now.

Why the boring, lame-ass jobs? Why can't I just open up my hot dog stand and get a bitchin' tan for the summer? Why do I have a college degree again? Hmmm, somehow that reason has gotten lost along the road.

Yeahhh.

Cool icon thingie

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Sat, 05 Jun 2004 15:15:13 GMT

Hey, how do I get one of those? I want to have fun little pic associated with my username.... Help please.

Dude.

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Sat, 05 Jun 2004 15:11:55 GMT

One of the 12 houses that are adjacent to my new house has black and grey checkered shingles covering it. That should really freak me out after a little QAL.

My last night under the orange glow of "Hot Coffee"

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Tue, 01 Jun 2004 02:54:59 GMT

Ahoo. It's always sad to leave an apartment... even if the punk kid next door smashes your pumpkin and jacks up his sub-woofer at 9am Saturday morning, and the garbage trucks outdoors harken you back to Junior year at MHC when the f-ing Fowler trucks unloaded right outside your window. Even still, it always brings out the melancholy in me just a bit. I suppose it's a natural time to reflect on your life; it just seems to take me by surprise every time.

Today was a long day. Moving, packing, erranding, blah blah blah. Hopefully tomorrow will go as planned - we were able to move most of our crap this afternoon, which was great. And tomorrow we get to do it in the rain!

I feel good about being so physical this weekend... biking, power yoga, packing and lifting heavy boxes. Whew, it's more exercise than I've had in a long time. Kind of sad, really. But my body feels good -- worked and expended energy, but I'm not sore. Love it.

And now I'm tired and am off to bed. Mmmmmmm.

Sittin' around...

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Mon, 31 May 2004 03:13:36 GMT

So our apartment is _finally_ almost packed. Sittin' around listening to 'Burn One Down' by Ben Harper and about ready to go to bed. Nothin' like a little Indiana Jones and QAL to really end the evening right. ;)

Sexy Grill

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Thu, 27 May 2004 15:05:35 GMT

Has anyone seen that new ad for a grill? I can't remember the brand name, but it's freaking hilarious. They show someone brushing meat on the grill, but it's done in slow motion and set to sensual music. WTF? I don't think it's intentional, because it's not so dramatic that it's obvious. But shit, it's pretty damn funny.

Stomach poo

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Wed, 26 May 2004 19:54:31 GMT

My tummy hurts. I think I have some sort of stomach disease for sure. Don't worry, I'll keep everyone posted with the sordid details when I see a gastroenterologist.

Ugghhh.

No longer a virgin!

ldogg04@hotmail.com — Wed, 26 May 2004 18:39:29 GMT

So I've caved and decided to join the blogging phenomenon. I must have something to do to occupy my moments of boredom!

Right now I can't wait for the workday to be over. Sitting in an office with a waiting room full of annoyed and hard-of-hearing patients and loud drug reps is truly grating on my nerves....

Woohoo, already pissed off!